At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize