Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
