I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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