After last night, I could never be a politician.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
