She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
