How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need to sanitize my soul.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
