Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
