I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize