Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
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I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize