i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize