No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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