I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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