I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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