Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
