Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
