Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
