weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
