just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
