let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
