to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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