...so i touched it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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