What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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