Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
