I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize