Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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