12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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