tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
