Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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