I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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