rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
