I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
