i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize