My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
