I just made out with a guy for $7.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
