What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
