He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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