She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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