well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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