No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
