my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
