Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
