I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
