so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
