No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize