Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.