So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.