his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team