I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
