I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
