Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
