Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
