it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
