Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize
