wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
