And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
worst night to have a conscience
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
