he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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