wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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