Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  people would bow to what i just did to her vagina

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  (901): people would bow to what i just did to her vagina http://tfl.nu/rxjb
  Replies (31) Good night (7341) Bad night (576)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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  (740): he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine? http://tfl.nu/es01
  Replies (42) Good night (1237) Bad night (4099)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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  (647): Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream. http://tfl.nu/8fzb
  Replies (5) Good night (6058) Bad night (660)
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  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

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  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (79) Good night (52802) Bad night (2284)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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  (586): Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child.... http://tfl.nu/unbg
  Replies (23) Good night (973) Bad night (4188)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.

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  (919): Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required. http://tfl.nu/6ko6
  Replies (6) Good night (5062) Bad night (917)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (3998) Bad night (1673)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?

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  (337): How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/ms4s
  Replies (6) Good night (2796) Bad night (813)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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  (580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7
  Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (447)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

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  (970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49
  Replies (7) Good night (1368) Bad night (433)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.

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  (410): The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager. http://tfl.nu/3fqc
  Replies (8) Good night (682) Bad night (1879)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?

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  (734): Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys? http://tfl.nu/5z2s
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (308)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

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  (770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.

  (817): View more from Texas

  Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".

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  (817): Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender. (817): Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii". http://tfl.nu/6w6n
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (263)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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  (970): In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma. http://tfl.nu/78q2
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (333)

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