They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
