me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
