Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.

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  (253): Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper. http://tfl.nu/3leu
  Replies (16) Good night (9943) Bad night (991)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."

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  (804): I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock." http://tfl.nu/9z32
  Replies (20) Good night (4559) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that

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  (336): If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that http://tfl.nu/zg2p
  Replies (4) Good night (3692) Bad night (1050)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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  (484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c
  Replies (16) Good night (938) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?

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  (908): do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants? http://tfl.nu/rdvq
  Replies (9) Good night (2844) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her

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  (847): In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her http://tfl.nu/qgyz
  Replies (5) Good night (2405) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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  (541): Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached. http://tfl.nu/gtou
  Replies (3) Good night (1668) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning

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  (412): we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/vjbm
  Replies (7) Good night (3224) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.

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  (414): Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl. http://tfl.nu/70hc
  Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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  (305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys
  Replies (7) Good night (594) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else

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  (732): i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else http://tfl.nu/vcs9
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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  (337): why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/berd
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!

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  (417): When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it! http://tfl.nu/b9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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  (916): I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart... http://tfl.nu/pfn5
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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  (225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (353)

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