How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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