i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
